Girls want to be understood. In order for her to feel understood, you need to listen to what she says, rephrase it and feed it back to her (it helps if you agree with whatever statement she made:). Listen to what she says, remember it and you can make her feel connected to you and understood by you even weeks after your conversation by just simply repeating what she told to you during your conversation:) So make sure a lot of your communication to her is a subtle echo of what she feeds you. Now this strategy is already quite effective on its own but combine it with using trance-words and she's gonna levitate right in front of your eyes:)
SLW: "You need to do more than just agree with her...going uh uh won't cut it. However you also can't just repeat what she said verbatim. You have to take something she's said and paraphrase it and present it as an original thought or opinion."
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Just say "Hi"
This is a really simple strategy. If you're consistent and persistent with this strategy, this could yield you a lot of beautiful women. It'll take a long time though, but then again, it requires almost no effort on your part:)
Here's what you do. You see a girl you like, but for some reason can't do an approach (you don't have the time, or maybe the guts, or the situation disallows it etc), at least do this - say "Hi". Keep enough eye-contact to get a confused "Hi" in return, then continue with what you were doing (walking, working etc). Maybe you'll never see the girl again. But if you do (oh joy and behold!:) - say "Hi" again. Then continue with what you were doing (basically, ignoring her:). And so on, and so on. After the first three "Hi's" the girl is still wondering, if or how she is supposed to know you. After the fifth "Hi" she is already wondering, how come you never actually talk to her. After the tenth "Hi" she can't understand, how come you never even approach her. After the twentieth "Hi" she is so confused and intrigued about you that she just can't stand it anymore and will approach YOU instead. She'll try to find out how the two of you know, and why you never talk to her, or why you never even approach her, but you still keep saying "Hi", is there something wrong with her etc - be very vague and mysterious about it in your answers (after all, you don't have much to tell anyway:). Now however, you're talking to an absolutely gorgeous girl (remember, you almost didn't even have the guts to say "Hi" to her:), who is so intrigued about you the she approached you - make the best of it:)
So the good part of this tactic is - almost zero effort on your part, just remember saying "Hi" to her:) The downsides however are numerous - you might never see her again, which is especially bad if she became interested in you when you said your first "Hi" already. Or you might see her a few more times but not on a consistent enough basis to build up enough intrigue in her. Also, this takes a monstrous amount of time to ripen - months, possibly even years. Neither is it much of a confidence- and experience-builder - you'll develop a confidence of saying "Hi" to beauties (not much is it?:) and acquire no experience whatsoever. But it serves it purpose as a last-ditch resort when you see a 10 approaching down the street, hurrying somewhere - say "Hi", get one in return, make her think that the two of you know each other somehow (obviously she can't remember you:) and hope for another chance meeting (when she hopefully still vaguely remembers you:).
A modification of this tactic (which seems to make some more sense) - just say "Hi" to any girl you like. Yes, any girl and anywhere - the commuter, the street, the airport, the corridor, the cafeteria. Some won't answer (maybe you greeted her too late for her to notice you), some answer, some smile and answer (see also Eye contact experiment), some answer, smile and stop (!) to initiate conversation with you (most probably about how come you know her when she doesn't seem to be able to remember you from anywhere:).
The ones that you have exchanged "Hi"-s with (without ever being introduced to each other or having actually approached her) are the best to use the "We already know each other" tactic with. The next time you meet, just start in the middle, like with an old friend, comment on something/anything etc, she responds and BOOM - you're acquintances!
Ok, so that's still a long way from having her naked body between your sheets - but you've made a start and you're already well on your way:)
Here's what you do. You see a girl you like, but for some reason can't do an approach (you don't have the time, or maybe the guts, or the situation disallows it etc), at least do this - say "Hi". Keep enough eye-contact to get a confused "Hi" in return, then continue with what you were doing (walking, working etc). Maybe you'll never see the girl again. But if you do (oh joy and behold!:) - say "Hi" again. Then continue with what you were doing (basically, ignoring her:). And so on, and so on. After the first three "Hi's" the girl is still wondering, if or how she is supposed to know you. After the fifth "Hi" she is already wondering, how come you never actually talk to her. After the tenth "Hi" she can't understand, how come you never even approach her. After the twentieth "Hi" she is so confused and intrigued about you that she just can't stand it anymore and will approach YOU instead. She'll try to find out how the two of you know, and why you never talk to her, or why you never even approach her, but you still keep saying "Hi", is there something wrong with her etc - be very vague and mysterious about it in your answers (after all, you don't have much to tell anyway:). Now however, you're talking to an absolutely gorgeous girl (remember, you almost didn't even have the guts to say "Hi" to her:), who is so intrigued about you the she approached you - make the best of it:)
So the good part of this tactic is - almost zero effort on your part, just remember saying "Hi" to her:) The downsides however are numerous - you might never see her again, which is especially bad if she became interested in you when you said your first "Hi" already. Or you might see her a few more times but not on a consistent enough basis to build up enough intrigue in her. Also, this takes a monstrous amount of time to ripen - months, possibly even years. Neither is it much of a confidence- and experience-builder - you'll develop a confidence of saying "Hi" to beauties (not much is it?:) and acquire no experience whatsoever. But it serves it purpose as a last-ditch resort when you see a 10 approaching down the street, hurrying somewhere - say "Hi", get one in return, make her think that the two of you know each other somehow (obviously she can't remember you:) and hope for another chance meeting (when she hopefully still vaguely remembers you:).
A modification of this tactic (which seems to make some more sense) - just say "Hi" to any girl you like. Yes, any girl and anywhere - the commuter, the street, the airport, the corridor, the cafeteria. Some won't answer (maybe you greeted her too late for her to notice you), some answer, some smile and answer (see also Eye contact experiment), some answer, smile and stop (!) to initiate conversation with you (most probably about how come you know her when she doesn't seem to be able to remember you from anywhere:).
The ones that you have exchanged "Hi"-s with (without ever being introduced to each other or having actually approached her) are the best to use the "We already know each other" tactic with. The next time you meet, just start in the middle, like with an old friend, comment on something/anything etc, she responds and BOOM - you're acquintances!
Ok, so that's still a long way from having her naked body between your sheets - but you've made a start and you're already well on your way:)
Casual meetings vs pick-ups - Pros & Cons
Girls love to meet their prince charming casually, they dream of meeting you accidentally and by chance. That usually includes meeting you at a somewhat more private party (a birthday or a wedding, but not a nightclub), being introduced to you through a mutual friend, having common interests (hobbies, sports etc) and meeting you through events organized for people practicing these interests; school, work, hobbies, friends, and relatives being the common denominators here.
That is also why trying to pick up a girl in the street or on the commuter is so much harder to do than just "meeting her casually" - it is completely different from what she has been dreaming of and in addition to having to make her like you the way you present yourself, you'll have to compensate for not being able to have the silent recommendation of having mutual friends or hobbies plus dismiss any of her doubts of you "doing this (picking up girls) all the time", a thought which might weigh against you even if she actually likes you and your approach.
But whether you want to make the girl like you having met her casually or doing a more direct pick-up, you'll be using the same techniques nevertheless. Opting for a casual meeting just simplifies your task of getting her to like you and has a higher probability of her coming to expect a LTR once things get serious (whether you like or want that to happen is already a different subject), whereas pick-ups are tougher to pull off successfully, but they also broaden your choice of girls far beyond those that you happen to meet "casually" plus each failure and succcess will build your experience and confidence respectively far more than casual meetings could ever do.
In short, casual meetings are safe, pick-ups more rewarding, and the choice is yours, but a healthy mixture of both is probably the best way to go:)
That is also why trying to pick up a girl in the street or on the commuter is so much harder to do than just "meeting her casually" - it is completely different from what she has been dreaming of and in addition to having to make her like you the way you present yourself, you'll have to compensate for not being able to have the silent recommendation of having mutual friends or hobbies plus dismiss any of her doubts of you "doing this (picking up girls) all the time", a thought which might weigh against you even if she actually likes you and your approach.
But whether you want to make the girl like you having met her casually or doing a more direct pick-up, you'll be using the same techniques nevertheless. Opting for a casual meeting just simplifies your task of getting her to like you and has a higher probability of her coming to expect a LTR once things get serious (whether you like or want that to happen is already a different subject), whereas pick-ups are tougher to pull off successfully, but they also broaden your choice of girls far beyond those that you happen to meet "casually" plus each failure and succcess will build your experience and confidence respectively far more than casual meetings could ever do.
In short, casual meetings are safe, pick-ups more rewarding, and the choice is yours, but a healthy mixture of both is probably the best way to go:)
Don't Be Afraid to Experiment!
ou could gobble up all the knowledge in the known universe about seduction but you'll neither never know what works best for you nor build up an intuition/experience concerning what would work best with any given girl - unless you start experimenting, both with what you've learned and what you come up with yourself. Plus this also helps to put you in the right mind-set.
ASF: "The main thing I put my successes recently down to is the decision I made to have fun and make meeting women a game. Let's push their buttons this way and see how they respond. What will they do if I say this etc. When I meet someone I'm thinking "What can I learn from you? What fun can I have relating to you?" rather than "Wow, you're gorgeous. Oh shit! What do I say? Do I look OK? Will you like me? ", which are some of the thoughts that used to run through my mind in my AFC days."
ASF: "The main thing I put my successes recently down to is the decision I made to have fun and make meeting women a game. Let's push their buttons this way and see how they respond. What will they do if I say this etc. When I meet someone I'm thinking "What can I learn from you? What fun can I have relating to you?" rather than "Wow, you're gorgeous. Oh shit! What do I say? Do I look OK? Will you like me? ", which are some of the thoughts that used to run through my mind in my AFC days."
On confidence and getting started with approaching girls
"Try approaching every HB you see and say, "Hi. Are you the sort of person I should get to know better?" If she says "Yes", then ask "Why?" Put the focus of the conversation on what she has to offer you. Do this in a matter of fact way, like you were saying "Hi. Your shoe's untied." In fact, if you can't yet muster the boldness to confront HB's, then just tell them it looks like they're about to lose a heel on their shoe and WALK AWAY. Try it. It works." Don't misunderstand the "addressing a girl and then walking away works" part - it doesn't work for getting to know these girls, it works to add to your experience and feeling natural and good about approaching girls:)
I didn't use "feeling confident" here on purpose, because ideally, you don't want to feel "confident" - being confident is something you think about and which ultimately reveals that you must be nervous in one way or another after all. Ideally you feel so good and natural about it that the word "confidence" never pops up in your mind:) Feeling so good and natural that you have no need to think about being confident is actually the ultimate confidence - but never think of it in terms of confidence. Forget the term "confidence" altogether, just concentrate on feeling good and natural (about approaching, propelling her to new heights of pleasure with your patterns, having kino etc) and before you know it - "confident" is how you'll be perceived by women:)
Update. When seeing a girl you'd like to approach, don't even try to "feel confident". Instead, think: "See that girl? I am the perfect experience for her!". Think of the way she will have goosbumps from the way you'll make her feel good, and if you want to, then for just a split-second you can remind yourself of all the ways you could make her cum:) Don't dwell on that though:) Just go and offer her the experience of a life-time:)
I didn't use "feeling confident" here on purpose, because ideally, you don't want to feel "confident" - being confident is something you think about and which ultimately reveals that you must be nervous in one way or another after all. Ideally you feel so good and natural about it that the word "confidence" never pops up in your mind:) Feeling so good and natural that you have no need to think about being confident is actually the ultimate confidence - but never think of it in terms of confidence. Forget the term "confidence" altogether, just concentrate on feeling good and natural (about approaching, propelling her to new heights of pleasure with your patterns, having kino etc) and before you know it - "confident" is how you'll be perceived by women:)
Update. When seeing a girl you'd like to approach, don't even try to "feel confident". Instead, think: "See that girl? I am the perfect experience for her!". Think of the way she will have goosbumps from the way you'll make her feel good, and if you want to, then for just a split-second you can remind yourself of all the ways you could make her cum:) Don't dwell on that though:) Just go and offer her the experience of a life-time:)
Good traits to have/develop to be a successful player
According to some PUAs, women obviously want a man with these most important traits:
confidence
humour
smile
well groomed / good looks
ability to create an emotional connection / a feeling of romance
In addition to that, being a successful player includes:
being patient
being persistent
being comfortable just going up and talking to a new woman
finding opportunities in situations where you before did not believe there would be
being sensitive to how she feels/responds and modifying your approach accordingly
knowing how to talk to a woman to build more rapport with her
knowing how to talk to a woman to make her start thinking in romantic directions
Having mastered all of the above, these will add the final touch:
mirror her physically
notice her trance words, remember and use them
rephrase everything she says and feed it back to her
anchor all good feelings
don't argue with her, be very understanding, deeply understanding - this can help create an immense rapport
use presuppositions to direct her actions
have and keep good eye contact - also helps to create an immense rapport
touch her
and always start with the cutest girl around:)
ASF: "Remember, chit chatting about clubs and work school is something she can do with anyone, but someone who can lead her into a state of arousal or at least romantic interest is hard to come by. You have to set yourself apart from the other guys by minimising the small talk and asking questions which can lead her into a romantic state."
confidence
humour
smile
well groomed / good looks
ability to create an emotional connection / a feeling of romance
In addition to that, being a successful player includes:
being patient
being persistent
being comfortable just going up and talking to a new woman
finding opportunities in situations where you before did not believe there would be
being sensitive to how she feels/responds and modifying your approach accordingly
knowing how to talk to a woman to build more rapport with her
knowing how to talk to a woman to make her start thinking in romantic directions
Having mastered all of the above, these will add the final touch:
mirror her physically
notice her trance words, remember and use them
rephrase everything she says and feed it back to her
anchor all good feelings
don't argue with her, be very understanding, deeply understanding - this can help create an immense rapport
use presuppositions to direct her actions
have and keep good eye contact - also helps to create an immense rapport
touch her
and always start with the cutest girl around:)
ASF: "Remember, chit chatting about clubs and work school is something she can do with anyone, but someone who can lead her into a state of arousal or at least romantic interest is hard to come by. You have to set yourself apart from the other guys by minimising the small talk and asking questions which can lead her into a romantic state."
Nice guys vs jerks
The debate of nice guys vs jerks is one of the oldest of relationships and seduction issues. The essence of being a "nice guy" however is widely misunderstood. It is believed, that being polite, considerate, friendly, tender, romantic etc is what being a "nice guy" is all about and thus should be avoided, as it is the "jerk", the rude, the inconsiderate, he impolite, the rough guy who always gets to shag the girl while the "nice guy" is waiting outside in the pouring rain with flowers in his hand... and waiting... and waiting...:)
It doesn't however mean, that women prefer rude over polite, inconsiderate over considerate etc. It all becomes clear when we look at a very important issue often overlooked when trying to define, what makes the "jerks" beat the "nice guys" when it comes to getting the girls. It is sexuality - the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while for the "nice guys" hiding their sexuality is part of their agenda of being friendly, polite and and courtious towards women. Big mistake:)
Peta, Clifford's Seduction Newsletter: "It dawned on me as it has, that the androgyny is key. Women fall for bastards because they don't turn off the sexuality.. "nice" guys think women will be terrified of their sexuality, so they turn it off and all they get is women responding to their androgyny [sending all nice guys to LJBF-land]"
It doesn't however mean, that women prefer rude over polite, inconsiderate over considerate etc. It all becomes clear when we look at a very important issue often overlooked when trying to define, what makes the "jerks" beat the "nice guys" when it comes to getting the girls. It is sexuality - the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while for the "nice guys" hiding their sexuality is part of their agenda of being friendly, polite and and courtious towards women. Big mistake:)
Peta, Clifford's Seduction Newsletter: "It dawned on me as it has, that the androgyny is key. Women fall for bastards because they don't turn off the sexuality.. "nice" guys think women will be terrified of their sexuality, so they turn it off and all they get is women responding to their androgyny [sending all nice guys to LJBF-land]"
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